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17. Today I am so very grateful for my trials in life. My sister in law, Charity introduced me to the story of the Nielson's back in August after their plane crash. Her sister has a blog and they also have a recovery blog that I follow. Today after I put Jake and Eli down for a nap I started to read up on how they are doing. Once again I was brought to tears, thinking about all the terrible things this family is going through. It makes me reflect on the trials that our little family has endured this year. One inparticular I can't stop thinking about. Eight months ago I was in tears and pregnant thinking that during Matthew's heart surgery, something might just go wrong and I could lose him, I was just sure I was going to lose him. I was a basket case. I told my dad after one of the check ups with Matthew's doctors that I just couldn't handle this. I tried so hard to be so strong for Matthew and so that he wouldn't keep bits of information from me (more serious ones) because he didn't want me to be scared or stressed out and cause any harm to our little baby or go into preterm labor. I would over hear him talking quietly to my dad or his dad or a sibling and after he would get off the phone I would ask him about what I just over heard. He would reply, "I didn't want to worry you..." So there we were both trying to be strong for the other. Many nights over the next couple weeks I would lie awake thinking what am I going to do if something happens or go to sleep crying while praying. We had our little nieces fast for the first time in Matthew's behalf. Many other sweet stories or comments from our sweet family members and friends. (a blessing and a strength to us) When the day finally came for his surgery even Matthew was starting to show he was a little scared. Everything went better than we ever could have hoped for. He did great! Surgery that was going to take hours, was less than an hour, he didn't have to get a pacemaker and most importantly they didn't have to use the defibrillator that laid on his chest. At this point in our lives I couldn't believe this was happening, why us? But now, I am grateful for our trials. "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger." I do not bring this up for sympathy just to make my point that today I feel like first, the Lord will never give us more than we can bear and second, Heavenly Father answers prayers. Not always how we may want them but He does hear and answer our prayers.

As I read over the c jane run blog (http://blog.cjanerun.com/ and http://web.me.com/andrewtbagley/NieRecovery/Recovery/Recovery.html ) it makes me grateful for what I have in my life...the trials that I have. This family has amazing strength and faith! They strength me and I know millions of others who read their blogs and are touch by their amazing spirits, their faith, their words of inspiration and so much more.

So today, I am grateful for my life's trials and being able to look at them now and see how they turn out to really be blessings.